I’ve been gone and now I’m back. My personal life journey over the past year has been a mega roller coaster ride. For many reasons I seemed to have lost my voice, a perspective. I never stopped thinking about the paranormal. In some form or manner my daily life has become even more filled with the ever evolving field of ghosts and hauntings. I continued my own paranormal education and learned more with each passing week. I also put my efforts into research, and educating others. Yet, every time I started to write a new blog article my mind went blank and my fingers fell limp against the keyboard. Why can’t I write and share all I’ve experienced, thought, learned? Why has it been so difficult for me to…to…to express myself?
Tonight as I commanded my fingers to type despite not having a specific direction, the answer to the above question came to me…… I’ve become disconnected. The more time that passed, the more difficult it became for me to put my thoughts into words, and the more I no longer knew my readers. All those wonderful, loyal, people whom I’ve shared with, and that have shared with me in the past. All those individuals who made me feel my blog belonged, and that what I had to say, well….mattered. All that comes to mind when I think this is - Thank You.
My disconnect, maybe much like the elusive entities that I keep trying to communicate with, a disconnect still exists. Nonetheless, I keep trying to learn more and be a better student of the paranormal realm, to be a better observer, to become more genuinely humane towards the other siders. If I can persevere in such a difficult uphill quest of the unknown…and known within the paranormal field, than surely I can start writing again. I believe if I just keep writing, my voice will get louder and more poigent as I hear you…feel you…connect with you. Yes, you, the person reading this article right now.
It has occurred to me that disconnect seems to be an almost constant state of being for me. Please allow me to explain. We investigators and the entire field of paranormal study are all about trying to connect the disconnection. We are continuously trying to fix, patch in, and connect with whoever is on the other side. We are always trying to find ways to bridge what seems like an endless gap of space that lay between us and them. We seem to make mountains out of mole hills and we sometimes grasp at straws. However, occasionally, just occasional, we make a break through. We learn, take a tiny step forward, and we accomplish something that creates a connection.
I have questioned how the other siders think or feel about their disconnect with us. Are they as equally frustrated? How much energy do they focus on just being heard? Do they wish they could tell us more than they do? How innovative are these entities that they figured out how to get messages to us via our audio recorders. They may want to leave longer, more precise voice messages, but for now, can’t. Maybe in the process of their learning, as much as they try, they simply haven’t figure out yet how to. Even if not understood, at least they’ve made their presence known. It’s a beginning, and if they keep working at bridging the disconnect between them and us, and we keep trying to bridge the gap, than eventually the two shall more permanently meet, and a true connection will have been made. Ahh…maybe I’m overly optimistic thinking a true meeting/connection will take place, but in general, don’t we all want to be heard, don’t we all desire unity, and isn’t connection in some shape or form what all human’s aspire to?
So in wanting to connect with you, I write. In wanting to share a viewpoint, I write. In wanting to bridge the gap of space between you and me, I write. In wanting us to work in unity, and learn from each other to discover how best to achieve a connection with the other siders, I write. In trying to accomplish all this, I write….Oh, and then I just post.